An intentional practice of telling stories of loved ones who have passed models honor, respect and weaves threads of love that continue through generations. This practice models gratitude for each life lived and for the ways we are cared for by others. It helps us appreciate the good, the quirkiness and all that make up each unique human being.  It reminds us of all of the creative ways there are to live a life and, most importantly, of the abundant love that surrounds us.  Perhaps one day each of us will be lovingly woven into the fabric of the stories and adages our children tell.

The Secret Benefits of Retelling Family Stories
​The Psychological Benefits to Hearing Family Stories This Thanksgiving

This quick episode is filled with tips and mantras to keep you present, level headed and connecting with your kids. Keeping your cool and connecting can start with a deep breath and a pause versus a reaction. A lot of parenting is also accepting things as they are and working with emerging situations rather than resisting reality. We always have a choice to "flip the script" and turn any situation into an opportunity and invitation to learn and connect.  In the busy-ness of life, when we take that pause and reflect on the energy we are bringing to each interaction, we gain clarity and begin to parent from a place of intention, rather than reacting from a place of overwhelm or exhaustion. The breath and the pause also allow us to center and practice being fully present in the moment.  Most importantly, when we take our time and commit to more intentional communication with our kids, we get to ask ourselves, "Is this communication meant to control or correct in some way, or to deepen connection?" When we  opt for connection more often, we will discover there is less need to control or correct. 

The struggle is real and there is not a solution that is as simple as "10 Ways to get Your Kids to Help Around the House."  Our lives are busy. Careers, household management and all of the invisible mental and emotional work that parenting requires leaves us exhausted most of the time. Our kids have no way of understanding this load. However, as parents, we often we don't take into account the invisible and emotional work of growing up. If we can step outside of our exhaustion and frustration and view the chores as a vehicle for teaching work ethic, balance, perseverance, finding meaning in the mundane, compromise and caring for others, we have a chance of maintaining stamina as we teach our kids the importance of chores and lovingly hold our boundaries. We also need to recognize that reminding and nagging do not have to be one in the same, and accept that we will have to cut through some of the noise and pressures taking up space in their head with frequent reminders. 

The Mental Workload of a Mother
Modern Day Motherhood Feels Frustrating

When was the last time you took a moment to marvel at your child's very presence, uniqueness and beauty, like you did when they were babies? When you look at your 14, 17 or 19 year old in this way you can cultivate a resurgence of new energy, love and affection that might be lost under layers of anxiety about them. Trying this strategy during phases that aren't your favorite will remind you that your adolescent is still one of your favorite people and a miracle. This can be the beginnings of repairing and deepening connection. Dr. John Duffy, author of "Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety," articulates the reality of today's teen and offers parenting strategies that not only help build one of the most important relationships in your life, but also help add a protective layer as your children navigate a complex world. 

Dr. John Duffy - Clinical Psychologist, Parenting Expert, Author, Podcaster
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