Parenting and worry seem synonymous. Most parents become experts at imagining catastrophe. This habit often means we parent from a place of fear and reactivity. Author Stephen Covey encourages us to differentiate between our Circle of Concern - all the things we worry about, and our Circle of Influence - all the things we can actually do something about. In this episode we explore what it means to stay in your Circle of Influence as a parent. The things that parents can control include: nurturing and tending to the quality of relationships, managing our own emotions and reactivity, working on our own communications skills and having clear expectations and calmly and consistently holding well thought out boundaries.
High school senior, Maggie Olson, has figured out that the key to managing her anxiety is to manage her thinking. She says, "I realize that, yes, I am feeling anxious, but it is okay and I try to fix that thinking into how I can not be so anxious - get behind what is actually happening. Acceptance is a huge part.” She offers some great insight into how we as parents can help kids understand, accept and navigate all feelings. Maggie has taken lessons learned from her personal journey and is helping lead a community service project - a center to help teens connect with peers, connect with mental health resources and simply provide a positive place to be after school.
Information and Fundraising for The Brick House
Idaho Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health
Instagram - @boisebrickhouse
This episode is for all of you practicing letting go of your kids. Perhaps it’s letting your kid get on the bus to an out of town sporting event and traveling without you for the first time. It might be leaving your kindergartner for their first day of school or dropping off your teen for their first day of high school. Maybe it's letting go and allowing your kid to fully experience the consequence of a bad choice. Maybe it's letting go as they have their first sleep over or letting go as they drive on their own for the first time or as they move out for college. Whatever the letting go may be, how do you find your inner calm? It is through trusting that you have done your job. It's by wrapping your kid in the right kind of bubble wrap. Wrap your kid in your confidence in their ability. All their power lies within. Ann Landers says “It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.”
Vashti Summervill is a PCI Certified Parent Coach and a certified teacher in the state of Idaho. She is the secretary of the Idaho Suicide Prevention Coalition and the co-chair of the St. Luke’s Pediatric Family Advisory Council.